異鄉港孩

最近在溫哥華圖書館尋到寶，這本《異鄉港孩》出版還不到一年，這兒的圖書館已經可以借閱，內裡記載著30個家庭的移民故事還有他們的教養理念，亦從各人的故事中找到不少共鳴。

古有孟母三遷，很多移民家庭離開原生地也是希望為孩子締造一個更合適的成長環境。只是轉變來得突然又劇烈，要適應的自然不少，當中大人和小朋友的成長，除了因為是在新環境的衝擊，還有家庭互動的變更和價值觀的更新與重整。

誠然在每一個地方，都有各地的優缺點。而人又不是全知，只能在我們的有限之中，選取當下最合適的選項。取捨過後的得失，很難一一算清，始終我們無法窺看在平行時空中選了不同選擇的我們。最好還是為自己的決定負責，繼續好好的走我們的路。到目前為止，我也確信我們的選擇是對的。

若說單單為著孩子而作決定，對孩子來說未免太沉重。尤其是那時孩子還是矇懂無知的幼兒，他們還沒有辦法改變大人的意思，只有跟隨的份兒。我會認為是自己在原居地住得膩了而任性出走，是我們大人以個人的價值觀選擇，而這個選擇自然而然地影響到孩子往後的人生。

所以，非常感謝孩子在一路上對我們的信任和跟隨。

感恩我們家這兩年的適應是出人意外地順利，再來便是書中對每位受訪者關於身份認同的問題。「我是香港人？」這問題既遠又近。當然人家問起，也會自然地答我來自香港，不過離開得越久，便越是疏離，上年聖誕節返港身心也有點點不適應，感覺更像過客。而在這邊又還是很新，還未有生根，需要更多時間心機去經營。大抵「我心安處是吾家」，相信無論身在何處，人生都只是客旅，最後盼望的不過是返天家。

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Recently, I stumbled upon a gem at the Vancouver Public Library. This book, Exiled Hong Kong Children, was published less than a year ago, and the library already has it available for borrowing. It documents the immigration stories and parenting philosophies of 30 families. I found much resonance in their stories.

In ancient times, Mencius's mother moved houses three times for his education. Similarly, many immigrant families leave their homelands in hopes of creating a better environment for their children to grow up in. However, the transitions are often abrupt and intense, requiring significant adaptation. Both adults and children undergo growth, not only because of the challenges of a new environment but also due to changes in family dynamics and the reevaluation and reshaping of values.

Indeed, every place has its pros and cons. As humans, we are not omniscient; we can only make the best choice within our limitations. The gains and losses after these decisions are difficult to quantify. After all, we can’t peer into an alternate reality where we chose differently. The best we can do is take responsibility for our choices and continue to walk our path with conviction. So far, I firmly believe we made the right decision.

To say that the decision was made solely for our children would be too heavy a burden for them. Especially since, at the time, they were young and innocent, unable to influence the adults' decisions and left with no choice but to follow. I tend to think that it was my restlessness and desire for change that prompted this move. It was a decision based on our personal values as adults, and naturally, this choice has shaped our children’s lives in profound ways.

I am deeply grateful for the trust and willingness our children have shown throughout this journey.

I am also thankful that our family’s adjustment over the past two years has been unexpectedly smooth. This brings me to the topic of identity raised in the book. "Am I a Hongkonger?" This question feels both distant and close. Of course, when asked, I naturally respond that I am from Hong Kong. But the longer I’ve been away, the more distant it feels. Last Christmas, when I visited Hong Kong, I felt slightly out of place, more like a passerby.

Here in Canada, though, we are still newcomers without roots, requiring more time and effort to settle in. Perhaps the saying “Home is where the heart finds peace” rings true. No matter where we are, life on earth is but a temporary journey, and in the end, our ultimate hope is to return to our heavenly home.